Dating a super busy man
I don’t care too much about Valentine’s Day – I just enjoy spending time together. I want to ignore him right now because I’m so angry. Usually this is the sign of an ambivalent man – one who isn’t sure what he wants. It takes time to observe a man’s behavior in a variety of situations.
You are watching for consistency in a man’s actions.
I lived through this myself and it was tough no doubt.
But I came up with a way to handle the disappointment and actually guard against it.
That sounds okay for a relationship that’s pretty new, where you are both still finding out about each other.
Instead of focusing on him, his actions and behaviour and reading things into them that may not exist, I would shift the focus back to you.
Sometimes he says he can’t see me as he’s with his mates.
My parents think I should pick someone who can be more committed to me and my friends say similar.
I know because against all kinds of odds, I found an adorable man and we’ve been married now for nearly 15 years.Do you think he should see more of me by now if he really likes me?I know this contradicts what your friends and family have advised but you haven’t known him very long.Don’t play games about meeting up but don’t drop everything when he is free if you have something pre-arranged. Is it because of unrealistic expectations or romanticised ideas about relationships and the belief that if someone likes you they must be with you as much as possible? I might guess ‘yes’ given how your family seem to view a very normal early dating situation as evidence of him not being adequately committed to you.
Where might those ideas have come from and are you able to resist or question them – seeing them as being unhelpful in your life now? Are you someone who is prone to anxiety or unable to relax and enjoy what you currently have?
I had no prospects when I started dating at 40, but found 30 guys to date in just 15 months. You are learning about yourself – what works and what doesn’t and how to react to keep yourself open to meeting more men.