Pull and push strategy in dating
He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren’t really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you’re upset; or hold you when you cry.
He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he’d have to act more like the boyfriend that you had.
He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.
Fact is, now, he’s probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that.
or at least one night of vulnerability-induced sex and an incredibly awkward morning after full of regrets and mint-schnapps-flavored vomit. Check any of the many “I’ve been friend-zoned” or “Nice Guy” rants on Facebook or Reddit or Tumblr – no, seriously, go ahead. Except of course he isn’t, he doesn’t and quite frankly, he’s probably not really in love with her anyway.
I’ll wait – and you’ll see a recurring pattern: “She doesn’t want a nice guy, she only wants those assholes who treat her better. A true friend doesn’t make his relationship with a person conditional to the idea that some day – maybe not today, but some day he’s not going to say anything: because as soon as he does, the illusion is ruined.
They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you.
At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him.” as I try to force inspiration into my face through judicious prescriptions of Macallan from my good friend Dr.Whiskey all the while cursing my laptop for betraying me by not magically producing the pages that the DMT elves promised me.More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren’t the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy.
So, now, you’re single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, “What happened to all the nice guys? You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion.Either the Nice Guy sees an opportunity and makes his move – and gets shot down – or his crush gets a new boyfriend; this is usually seen as the last straw for the Nice Guy.